Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize