I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
