Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
