Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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