Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize