Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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