omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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