Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
