I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
