After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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