guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
