He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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