but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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