he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
