You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
