why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
