just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
