spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
