I looked at my own cervix.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
