some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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