At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
