May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
