If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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