Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
