Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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