He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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