Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
