The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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