OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
this is an emotional support booty call
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
