we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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