Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
