i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
