Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
