3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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