He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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