just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
