Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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