I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Someone came in the potted fern
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
