One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize