oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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