The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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