found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
