I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
