how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
