Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
