every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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