There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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