Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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