I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
