I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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