if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
