just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
