Can Purell be used as lube?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Randomize
