it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How external is "for external use only"?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
