T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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