I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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