I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
