I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This house was built for laser tag.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
