These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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