I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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