I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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