I just saw a hot homeless man
He passed out mid-signature
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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